Seeing the Sky from a different Window

There was once a man who moved into this new town. He bought a lovely place with a beautiful garden. On the first day that he arrived, people flocked to his new home and greeted him. He would respond with a warm smile each time. People would bring gifts, flowers, milk, food and wine to his house to get to know him better.

Well this man was pleasantly surprised at how much attention he got and so he would wait at his porch on most days to receive his guests. He hadn’t once stepped out of his house to visit other people because he thought that he needed to stay at home all the time just in case someone came by.

Gradually lesser and lesser people stopped by his house. He never wondered why. He just told himself that his new house is beautiful and there would be people that would bound to visit him. Soon it came to a point that only one person came each day; then each week; then each month.

One day no one stopped by anymore for every one has visited him before. He waited at his porch for days, weeks and months and finally he gave up and stayed in his house, minding his own business. Little did he know the town folk’s feelings towards him. Every one liked him at first until they realize that he will never visit their houses; he was too fond of his own.

Don’t be locked up in your home and see the world through the window. Many times, just simply visiting other people’s homes and seeing the sky out of their window gives you quite a different view! Let’s practice some empathy.

Smile!

Please Chill

It’s been a while since I had time to blog, well, I just came back from a 17 day trip from Beijing to shanghai to hongkong and back home. One word fits what I feel as soon as I went to work today – invigorated. It was good to take a break.

Yes I know it’s hard to postpone your appointments, reschedule your meetings, shift everything in your daily routine to make time; it’s hard to make time for the most valuable asset you own: yourself.

But you see, that’s what’s causing alot of things to go awry. We need to take a break every so often. A man who goes without sleep for more than 48 hours gradually feels his bodily functions shut down on him and in no time he’ll start hallucinating; our body knows that we need to rest; do we? I’m no christian but I know that in the book of genesis, even god rested on the 7th day so why shouldn’t us mortals?

Ok I agree it’s almost impossible to take as long a trip as I did. But it is very possible to take the weekend off.

One of the most common problems that busy people face is burning out. Burn out causes you to slow down in productivity, turn wry your thinking process, become forgetful etc. the list goes on. In my opinion, the best cure for burnout is going some place far far away from the city, like a sunny little island that is not frequented by tourists, long stretches of soft silvery beige sand, cool blue waters that are so clean u can see the fishes swimming, a nice little bar to get a cool drink amd a shady spot to laze in and read. That’s my ideal getaway, it could be different from yours, that’s fine. So long as you feel relaxed and good about the place, that’s YOUR perfect spot.

If after reading this article makes you feel like going somewhere away from the bustling city, away from the constant sms, away from the invading email, then it could be time to call for a break.

Book a time with yourself, commit to it, have a cocktail and chill.


Smile!

Stages in Life, Moving On

“It’s always necessary to know when a stage of one’s life has ended. If you stubbornly cling to it after the need has passed, you lose the joy and meaning of the rest. And you risk being shaken to your senses”. - Paulo Coehlo, The Fifth Mountain.

In our life we face many times when we enter a state of transition; the passing of a sweet relationship, the farewell of a loved one, the loss of a job. Surely we have had our fair share but I’m sorry but there’s more to come. Because life is as such, it’s about keeping up that gait of yours till the final passing.

We all hate goodbyes, dang I even hate birthdays cause each birthday and each good bye is bidding farewell to the stage of life that has just past. I look back and I think: has the time I spent been a total waste or has it? Were there any life lessons I could pick up to help better my walk? If I could have done better, how then can I do it?

This state of transition that we’re in is an opportune time to take some time off the ever flowing pace of life and just close your eyes and reflect. Think of your current pace of life, contemplate your next step, and if you’ve got a lot of time, do something you’ve never done before but always wanted to do. Go celebrate life for each passing of a stage is the entry into another.

Please make sure you have closure for the stage that has passed. Throw a party, go for a getaway, do something stupid, just do something that can signify you leaving the past because when you enter the next stage in life, you don’t want weights from the past still pulling you back. When baby eagles learn to fly, they just drop out of their nest, off the cliff and they drop at least 10 feet. What a way to signify the passing of their youth; They then open their wings and fly. Those that didn’t leave the nest never did survive.

I wish I could have relived many parts in my life again, then again when I thought about it, it could have progressed differently if i tried again and no amount of trying would have resulted in a more perfect memory than the one that has just past. Smile and keep walking. I have always liked this advert and it shall end this post.

Smile!

The Chains that Bind

Like invisible hands they clutch around your throat,slowly squeezing the life out of you until you're nothing but an empty shell. Ever felt like that?

Expectations; they come in many forms,obvious and transient. We all experience expectations every day,from our parents,friends,lover,the environment we grow up in and of course ourselves. They are there to guide us and inspire us to excel. But sometimes,having too much of it just constricts us with it's invisible tendrils. That's the feeling we get when we don't live up to expectations.

The problem: we have been educated since we were young that expectations are ok and they form part and parcel of our life. Yet our parents do not know that the feeling of disappointing them by not fulfilling their expectations is so painful,like a blunt knife slowly cutting into us. Where else can we go to express such pain without getting looked down on but hiding it within ourselves?

At this point,for some,depression slowly creeps in. Like water seeping through your clothes it slowly crawls up your skin. Let's spare our friends and family of this torture.

Parents,please don't place too high expectations on your children. I know we all want our kids to be the next Einstein or Bill Gates. But sometimes giving them space and freedom to explore and find the path that they really enjoy venturing on is much more beneficial than to nag at them about being a doctor or a lawyer.

Break free of expectations that bind you. They are like heavy lead weights tied around your ankles. Let them go. Take a breather. Get away. Smile :)

For the Children, for the future

What kind of personality does your child have? When he/she meets new people, does he/she smile to the stranger or hide behind you? In a broader sense, they tend to fall into either an extrovert or an introvert. How will this affect their lives in the future?


There are personality theories that believe that the personality of a child is more or less set in his younger years and that they will retain the major components of it all the way into adulthood. The Chinese believe that “at the age of 3 the character is set”. However, no matter if they are extroverts or introverts, they share a similarity; having self-confidence. Self-confidence brings children places. Who said introverts do not have self confidence? Let me name a few famous introverts: Abraham Lincoln, David Letterman, Sir Alfred Hitchcock. What about extroverts? Well, there are simply too many to name but it does not mean that being an extrovert equates to a higher chance of being famous. It is just that extroverts tend to like to put themselves into the limelight , therefore they get recognized more easily. Introverts tend to be recognized for the acute talent.


Having self-confidence is not something a child can pick up by himself. The environment and every thing they come into contact with help to shape their level of self-confidence. Every statement uttered to them leaves an imprint on them. Some parents tend to make the mistake of passing remarks that will hurt a child’s ego like, “you will never make it”. They do not know how much mental damage has been done on the children. It's like a bomb dropped onto the child's mental mindset, it will leave a crater.


A word of advice dear parents, being positive is tough especially when you are angry, but your words will go a long way. If a child commits a mistake, instead of saying, “You’re so stupid!” Try what theater director Joan Littlewood said, “If we don’t get lost, we’ll never find a new route.” The effect will be very significant in your child.


Positive thinking is a habit that will definitely boost the amount of self-confidence in children. It has been shown that children who tend to smile and feel good do better in their studies and have better social relationships. Being positive to your child also opens up the channels for your child to talk to you. He will not be afraid to voice his opinions and he will be more than happy to engage in a healthy debate with you. Can you imagine how much children keep to themselves when their parents lash at them when ever they mention something out of line? I would know, my parents were like that and it hurt. For those that grew up in a more amiable environment, please applaud your parents for their patience and learn from them. It was tough for them.


Well, lets give our little ones a chance to reach for the skies, smile!

BUMP!

Let me introduce to you a new blog that I am working on. Now, in this blog, i focus more on therapy and mental health related issues. In this new blog "Bump" I focus more on motivation, peak performance, school performance, sporting performance, basically any issues that requires that spark of energy. Visit it and get Bumped!

Click here for the link (:

Wake UP!!!

Sometimes the hardest thing to do can be the first thing you do every day:waking up.
Yes,waking up and all ready to go. Here are some tips for those with trouble waking up:
1. Sleep enough and at your sleep hours
- Every one's body works with different body clocks,but there will be a certain time in the night when we get all lethargic and drowsy. That's the body clock saying it's time to sleep. Everyone knows that sleeping sufficiently is vital to feeling good the next day,no need for any elaboration here.
2. Avoid alcohol,caffeine,hypnotic drugs before sleeping.
- Most hypnotic drugs will make you only drowsier early in the morning. Please only use them at the last resort and with prescription from a doctor. Just abit of alcohol before bed is fine. Definitely not till you're tipsy cos when you wake up,you'll get a hangover. Caffeine is a no no before bed because it won't let you sleep properly,therefore affecting your ability to wake up.
3. Drink a glass of water before sleeping.
- This will to give you the urge to pee in the morning. Running to the toilet to release the dam is a good way to kick start your system.
4. Use a powerful alarm clock.
- This time tested method now has a modern approach to it. It's called the Clocky. I'll do a review on it. Alternatively, you can place your clock in a place just far enough such that you will have to roll out of bed to switch it off or snooze it.
5. Get your housemate to kick you off the bed.
- This always works if the alarm just doesn't give that strong enough kick.
6. Remind yourself why you to have to wake up at that time in the morn. To do this better,click here to learn how to do auto-suggestion more effectively.
I hope this 6 tips can help you get out of bed. Trust me...getting over this hurdle is a big step for you.
Bump!